The Stories We Live By

Chapter 1 excerpt from The Power of Thinking Differently by Javy W. Galindo

From section entitled “The Stories We Live By” (updated 1/18/09 from draft IIII)

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When approaching a new painting, musical composition or sculpture, we can find ourselves stuck because we are unable to get beyond our habitual perceptions to envision something new. Similarly, when educating our children, managing healthcare or overseeing our finances, we often follow conventional processes or strategies. We often approach these things as we’ve always approached them, not necessarily because there are no other alternatives, but because of habits in our behavior.

These habitual perceptions and behaviors are what predominately govern our lives. They are the stories we tell ourselves of the way things are or the way things are supposed to be. We tell ourselves that a good painting, song, or sculpture is supposed to be a certain way. We tell ourselves that education, healthcare, or our finances are supposed to be governed a certain way. When we see somebody displaying a particular facial expression or hand gesture, we tell ourselves a story of what that means.

More often than not, we are unaware of the stories that guide our behavior. We don’t necessarily think we can control a stoplight, or that the world will end without a certain job title or if we fail to live in a certain neighborhood, though we often react that way. It’s just that we don’t always think things through because of our tendency to react based on quick judgments and assumptions. So when we say an idea “makes sense”, we aren’t making some objective claim that it’s necessarily any truer than something that doesn’t make sense. We are simply saying that we have found a way for the idea to fit into our predominate story; with the story we habitually, unconsciously tell ourselves.

But look at where our common stories have brought us. While some of our stories have brought us peace and happiness, far too many make us prone to using the wrong tools in the wrong situations – giving us stress, frustrations, misperceptions, fear, meaninglessness, or feelings of being stuck – whether it be with our art, our writing, our choreography, our business growth, or with the progress of our own lives. The misuse or overuse of these cognitive tools has led to issues with race relations, cultural conflicts, substance abuse, climate change, and economic instability to name a few. In other words, we can drive ourselves crazy trying to jam square pegs in round holes.

Not all holes are created equal, regardless of how similar they may look.

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